If Google Maps were a person

We would probably not be friends

Me: Hey GM, how long will it take me to get to work right now?

GM: 28 minutes

Oh, ok, great.  So that's including traffic?

There will be traffic, yes.

Ok, so that 28 minutes includes traffic? 

I know where the traffic is.  See?

So you've included that in the 28 minutes?

There will be stoplights.

So the stoplights are also included in the 28 minutes?

This is the fastest route.

Ok, let’s just go, I guess.

{28 minutes later}

Me: I still have ten minutes until I get to work? What gives, GM?!

GM: There was traffic. And there were lights. Here's a picture of a burger someone ate 3 years ago very near here. The restaurant is out of business.

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Thanks for reading! Hoping your day is filled with efficient travel. If you know of anyone who might enjoy (or at least be moderately intrigued by) posts like this, please consider sharing.

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Photo by Isaac Mehegan on Unsplash