Next up in the series of unnecessary observations about national clothing/food/sundry establishments, Harbor Freight cracks me up, what with their "Never-To-Be-Repeated" sales and their "Tool Disposal" events.
We all know it's just a ploy, that they're not going to actually throw tools away. How would you even throw away that many tools?! Can you imagine the number of tripled-up Harbor Freight trash bags you’d need for such a task?
No, we know that in a few months they'll have another "Once in a Century" sale, and that it will be the same tools they swore they were going to throw away last time. But we go along with it because we like cheap tools and we kinda like Harbor Freight. It's clean, it smells good, they give us free flashlights.
Still, the pseudo-drama is sort of like that explosive kid we all knew in high school. The one who was mostly harmless and agreeable, but who occasionally swore this was THE. LAST. TIME. for whatever it was he was fed up with.
It became predicable, if harmless.
"You know what, I'm done with basketball. This is it. Good luck to you guys, I'm never setting foot in this gym again. Adios!"
(2 weeks later)
"Okay, give me the ball. I'll play, but only because I promised myself I wouldn't quit ANYTHING!"
(1 week later)
"Anyone want my basketball shoes? Or, actually, take my FEET, because I have no use for them; this game is stupid, and I'm not playing anymore!"
(3 days later)
"I'll be in the gym practicing at lunch. I suggest you come too because we're a team! You gotta want it!"
(2 hours later)
"Basketball is a tool of Al Qaeda, meant to bring destruction. I'll be burning my uniform tonight at my house. Join me, if you know what’s good and right. Or don't, it's your soul at stake."
Wait . . . Maybe that guy started Harbor Freight? If so, you gotta admit - it’s working for him!
Thanks for reading! Here’s wishing you a great weekend filled with whatever bargain-basement products bring you joy!
